Toilet Humour
Being an outsider I tend to miss a lot of what is going on in Norway. Norwegian pop culture is a mystery but every now and then Moose slaps me over the head with it. Moose came out of the toilet today with hands up in the air saying ‘Oh yes, the pole!’
Moose is a big fan of a comic-strip called Pondus – a big boys comic with Norwegian popular (and very crass) humour. It seems Norwegians love slap-slick and especially toilet humour, and Pondus fans know it all. In fact, there is a “Number 2″ richter-scale that is designed to make you proud no matter what ends up in the toilet. These expressions first started between the Pondus author, Frode Øverli, and his publisher, Tormod Løkling (pictured left). Their daily chat included a check-in of their daily dump. As art reflects life, the expressions made it into the comic strip. And as life imitates art, Norwegians have run away with it. Here are some of the most popular expressions. (Those crass-aphobics out there… turn away, turn away!)
The Pole – (Moose’s triumph today) a dump that made it all in one piece, normally acounpanied by a fanfare and a victory dance.
The Phantom – you can feel it come out, you hear the splash, there is evidence on the toilet paper but when you turn to flush it is not there.
The Perfect Diver – you can feel it come out but there is no splash.
The Haunter – no matter how many times you flush it keeps on coming back (often confused with the Peek-a-boo).
The Biter – you are squeezing one out but your butt refuses to cooperate and suddenly the dump is bit in half and you need two rolls of paper to dig out the rest.
The Touch Down – a dump that reaches the water before letting go.
The Boa Constrictor – a dump that is so enormous that you have to cut it with the toilet brush so you can flush.
Second Wave – you wipe, pull up your pants, wash your hands but then have to go again.
The Farmer – the one that refuses to let go (normally it is enough to move your butt in a figure-8 but it often needs a nudge before dropping).
Wet Bottom – the big splasher, and of course you have already peed first.
The Clean Freak – you feel it come out, it’s in the bowl, but no matter how much you rub there is no evidence of it on the toilet paper.
Corn-on-the-cob – no explanation needed.
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When my husband read this post he got so excited that he had to google more of the toilet jokes online… slapping his knee proclaiming Norwegian toilet jokes are the best… There are ones that are too gross to repeat here…!!!
I got an email with a list like this years ago! Funnily enough they were all different names.. it seemed to be more American-orientated. And when I got that email I thought they’d stolen the idea from a friend of mine – a guy who also made names up (different ones again) for his business. He thought there should be some sort of tally board in the dunny where one can chalk it up and compare statistics later
I wonder if it was Norwegians who started it all, or if the fascination is worldwide!
veldig morsomt!!
This was definitely the funniest post yet! I laughed as hard as i could! Thumbs up!