10 Tips on Surviving Norway
You need to have a certain personality to survive Norway. I’m lucky, I enjoy my own company and can amuse myself, so the standard isolation as an ‘immigrant’ is quite perfect for me. However, others who need social interaction have a much harder time of it. Below are some tips (well, more like humorous tactics) especially for our ‘immigrant’ readers who want insight into the Norwegian character and plan on surviving Norway:
1. Always say how amazing Norway is – Norwegians need to hear how wonderful their country is more than most. I think it is the ‘little guy’ syndrome.
2. Never get angry, speak your mind or cause a scene. I’ve seen other immigrants do this and this usually makes them alienate themselves even more.
3. Don’t complain in front of (or to) a Norwegain. Immigrants have developed a bad rep for being complainers.
4. Don’t bother saying ‘hi’ to a Norwegian unless they say ‘hi’ first. If they do acknowledge you, acknowledge them in the same way, for example: if they nod, nod back; if they wave, wave back; if they turn away hoping you won’t notice them, then don’t notice them.
5. Always be positive and pleasant no matter how you are feeling. Norwegians don’t like you imposing on their personal ‘stress’ space.
6. Don’t ask a Norwegian to do anything unless you are their employer. They don’t like commitments. But if you pay them then it is another story.
7. Don’t try to ‘make plans’ with a Norwegian. Everything is tentative until they call you up an hour before your meeting/event/get-together.
8. Don’t just drop by on a Norwegian. They don’t like surprises.
9. Never give Norwegians gifts or presents, especially when just visiting. If Norwegians invite you over it is because they want to entertain. Giving them a present like chocolates or flowers as a visiting gift makes for an awkward situation. (Although, a bottle of bubbly always seems to go down well.)
10. Don’t expect a Norwegian to talk with you even if you are the only two sitting on a bench in the middle of an empty room.
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I loved you tips… I work in a hotel and deal with hundreds of people every day. I give my guests the same treatment they give me. If they are chatty, I chat. If they completely ignore my presence, I do the same. It seems to work quite well so far…
Only thing that doesn’t seem to work out here is the droping by… Sometimes people drop by our house. I became completely norwegian at that point!
hilsen
Camila
Haha, great post, I think you’re right on all points!
I have lived here for 11 yrs and you have got it right! I find that people here like to stare a lot… any advice on dealing with that? It is hard when you aren’t supposed to smile unless smiled at. Should I just stare them down? lol
About point 7, now I wonder why last time I needed a guide in Norway, he did not want any payment in advance for his service. Was it just trust (as I supposed) or unwillingness to make plans? By the way he was a great guide and appreciated with surprise my present (wine and champagne).
That is a great and accurate list. I wonder a bit about point 7 though, it could just be my own ignorance but I feel it is more of a regional thing.
The best example I have is the wife of my brother who is from the middle of Norway in contrast to our south-western home. When she moved to our area she kept calling up and double or triple checking that plans were still on, which tended to confuse us as we had clearly agreed on something and we didn’t see why anyone would have to reaffirm such things.
I’m not sure if that made any sense, but it’s a thought that struck me upon reading the list.
Thank you so much for the information! This is very helpful since I’m leaving for Norway Thursday. So excited to finally visit.
What you’ve listed is a modern day list of Jante Laws. And yes, they all sound about right.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jante_Law
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from L-Jay:
Very interesting. I’ve never really heard about this before but it is so weirdly a part of Norwegian society. However, it seems that it is the older generation who still carries the spirit if the Jante laws whereas the younger generation has the optimism and positive motivation of the new world.
Ha ha, you make ‘the Norwegian’ sound like a particularly flighty animal that may take fright if you look at one the wrong way. Funny creatures these Norwegians!
I’m not sure about #7 though. My experience has been that Norwegians are very punctual with meeting times etc.
As a Norwegian I believe that if people followed your 10 simple rules, the world would be a better place for everybody. It’s interesting that you choose the “Amazing” rule as number one. I think that Norwegians believe that if you find beauty in Norwegian nature, the 9 other rules will come naturally.
Useful tips indeed! And thanks for sharing with us
now I understand why Norwegian behaved like “one kind” on certain things.
I’m from Malaysia and poeple here are quite shy and bit reserved as well. But I found Norwegian sometimes are rather “cold” in a way.
This is so true and it took many years of frustration to just sit back and chill out when in the presence of others. I do love it though, when my family and friends come to visit and force the ‘Weegies’ to say something and get surprised everytime I hear people that I’ve worked with for years finally break out in fluent english.
I feel sorry for you!
if these are the only type of people you meet in norway, you should come down to the west cost
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from L-Jay:
I know a lot of people from the West Coast. On the West Coast there are a lot more English-speaking immigrants due to the fishing, shipping and oil industries so the West Coast Norwegians have had to adabt to English-speaking politeness. I’d say the West Coast is about five years ahead of most Norwegian places when it comes to accepting immigrants. (But, of course, the change is due to the amount of immigrants.)
I guess the question is – is it better for Norwegians to change or for immigrants just to understand and accept the Norwegian character? (I wish Norwegians don’t have to change, but in this ‘globalised’ world they need to change their ‘politeness’ habits for an internaional community and for the future of a modern Norway.)
I’m wondering,what your husband is saying you talking about Norway negative way? My husband and me are not coming from same countries and I lived in his home country and if I say something negative,he can be very angry trying to persuade me that,that is not the true,and usual that grow in big argument
BTW negative means objectively from your point of view 
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from L-Jay:
I think Norwegians have a very healthy self-reflection. They are aware of what immigrants think of them and even joke about it themselves. Moose just laughs and says how true things are. But I find that a lot of these stereotypes are from the older generation and that is why Norwegians can laugh. However, the more open Norwegians are fully aware of their evil twins
.
Or that is just Moose because I’m not finding Norwegians with lot of understanding for humor about themselves and they are young
I reckon Norwegians found themselves exposed in front of the outlanders. Habits like wearing socks with sandals, leaving the shoes at the door or eating row sea food have never been weird for them until lately, until we, the immigrants came. They somehow lost their normality. Some of them are showing this with anger, frustration, ignorance towards us, some just laugh, some judge, some smile, but this is the mankind every day business, ikke sant?
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from L-Jay:
I think cabel TV has a lot to do with it too. English-speaking life is normal to Norwegians know as they watch it every day of their lives…lol.
‘
I live in the midwest of the US and have visited Norway twice in the last 3 years.
I am seriously considering living in Norway, for at least a year.
How should I go about doing that?
Thanks, Carol
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from L-Jay:
To do this you need to become a resident of Norway to live more than 3 months. In general, you have three options: study, find an employer who will sponsor you or get married to a Norwegian.
This list needs rote learning..
I’ll definitely do it so. Just by reading it, I can imagine how’ve you come through this society.
@Andrea
The habit of leaving the shoes at the door are still not weird to me
For us its un-polite to go into a house with the shoes on. (it has to with shoes have dirt on, and the floors are probably clean..)
Your “rules” #6 (commitments/favors) and #7 (make plans) are simply not correct for Norway in general.
I don’t know if it’s your part of the country or not, but in general Norwegians are:
A. Very willing to help others and
B. We love to plan meetings, showing up and punctuality are *sacred* to Norwegians.
I can imagine people in Northern Norway do things differently (or so I hear).
Oh, and getting paid for a favor is disrespectful(!) Unless you’re asking me to paint your house or fix your car, money’s out of the question! “Why would I need your money?”, is how I would feel about it. That would never fly in my part of Norway.
I’ll pick up/watch your kids, drive you to the doctor, help you move or other normal favors what ever it costs me in time and gas – but don’t you dare [offer to] pay me if I’m your friend!
If you ask for help it’s either given freely or not at all [in plain, honest langauge].
I find your blog very interesting but so very far from the reality and experiences of my Norway. You should rename your blog “My Little Northern Norway”
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from L-Jay:
This post is directed towards the immigrant experience. (If you are white and come from a Westernized country then things may be a little different for you.)
For your first point about Norwegians helping others:
It is hard for Norwegians to help immigrants, especially from Asia and Africa. You can only get a Norwegian to do something for you for free if you are already in the circle – a friend or a friend of a friend. The point is if they are not your friend and you are an immigrant they won’t do anything for you. Norwegians are only ready to help Norwegians. The ‘no money’ thing only comes into play when you have done a favour or job for them like mowing their lawn, but the free favours only happen if you have done things for them first (or are ‘socially’ expected to do something for them later) – like in farming comunities. But if you live in an apartment building and say “dugnad” Norwegians scatter like crazy.
No Norwegian stranger has ever offered to help me ‘just to be nice’, especially when I was living in the South. Farmor is actually the only Norwegian I know who is trully willing to go out of her way to help a stranger.
For your second point about Norwegians loving to plan meetings:
They only love meetings in a work or club capacity where they get paid for it or they get some sort of social benefit out of it. The direction on #7 was about social contacts – going out, going fishing, having a BBQ, meeting up in a cafe. Norwegians don’t feel the need to be on time then or to even show up. You can never truly know if your social plans will be kept unless you get a confirmation.
Even though I live in the North, I first lived in the South when I came to Norway. That is the place where I felt unwanted the most. I’ve found that the communities that help people out the most are the farming communities where people are few and far apart (but you can never make plans with them…lol). The people you can make plans with live in the cities but it is like getting blood out of a stone to get them to help you (ironically, especially people in the service industry who get paid to help you…lol).
But you know, there are always good days and bad days in Norway when you are an immigrant. It is always hoped to have more of the former.
wow… so sad… I hope this is just bad luck, because everyone I know, family and friends would love to help, but we don’t unless you imply or ask- because we respect privacy and are a bit shy…
Love from south
How do norwegians treat foreigners especially from African countries? I am from kenya. Are they racist or cold?
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from L-Jay:
You always get racist and cold people where ever you go. I find that Norway isn’t as friendly to people from Africa as English speaking countries because most Africans in Norway are asylum seekers.
I love your pages! As an expatriate Norwegian, it makes me miss ye olde country quite a bit.
Anyhoow, I’d like to add a few points to your list:
- Don’t make prolonged eye contact with a Norwegian unless you’re family or plan to take them to bed.
In most of the Western world, it’s considered polite to keep eye contact, and not doing so at all borders on shifty. In most of Norway, however, the polite thing to do is to only quickly glance at someone’s eyes, and not too often.
I heard that McDonald’s had to rewrite their employee handbook for Norway, because it said to always look customers in the eye, and too many Norwegian customers found it extremely uncomfortable.
- Coffee. If you ever get visitors in Norway, serve coffee. Whether it’s an in-law or a plumber, you’re amiss in your host(ess) duties unless you start the coffee. Likewise, expect to be served coffee at any time between 5 am and 12 pm. Most Norwegians drink it steaming hot, black, incessantly, with sugar cubes and cream served on the side. Perhaps some stale cookies too, but the main point is the coffee. Putting sugar IN the coffee is uncommon (but not frowned upon — it’s just an oddity).
You may ask for tea instead, but be prepared to back it up with a “white lie” about a stomach problem or similar.
Bonus points for learning how to sip coffee through a sugar cube..
- Always eat the food you have put on your plate. Always. Even if you have to fake it and cough the last piece out in a hankie. If you didn’t want the fatty rind on the pork chop, you should have said so before helping yourself to it. Even when served by others, it’s polite to make a “happy plate”, and slightly rude to leave a half-eaten plate. If you know you can’t eat it all, say so before touching the food. The only exception to this is, you guessed it, coffee. You CAN leave some coffee without committing a faux pas. (The main reason is that there may be grounds, and it’s polite not to mention it.)
- Never share glasses, nor touch a common food plate with utensils that have touched your mouth or even your plate. If there aren’t enough utensils, or you accidentally touch the plate with the common fork, ask the host for more, or offer to rinse it.
Likewise, for food picked up by hand, every piece you touch should go on your plate. Moving aside one piece to get to another means no-one else can eat the first piece. Even with coffee.
- Norwegians who speak on an indrawn breath do NOT suffer from emphysema. Saying “Ja” while drawing their breath is perfectly normal.
Likewise, people from certain areas make a guttural R sound in the back of their throat — do not perform the Heimlich maneuver on them unless they turn blue.
Give them a cup of coffee instead.
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from L-Jay:
Moose was sitting next to me while reading this and he couldn’t stop giggling. I recognised a few (the rest I haven’t had the pleasure to identify yet
– but at my wedding I freaked everyone out by picking up a piece of cake in my hand and feeding Moose with it. I quickly learnt that cakes are eaten with spoons in Norway.
Hahaha! That made me laugh so hard! Especially the part about eye contact. Hardly anything is more uncomfortable for me (a native Norwegian) than people that insists on looking into my eyes all the time. It freaks me out and makes me want to run away. But I haven’t really thought about it before. Makes me feel kind of stupid now though, (after I thought about it). Guess I have to work on that.
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from L-Jay:
Yeah, sometimes the simplest things are so ingrained in our cultures. In my Australian culture, if you don’t look at the person who is telling you off for doing something bad then you are being rude…lol.
Haha that drawing the breath to saw “Ja” had me rolling. I used to pick at my wife about it. I ask her if she is a Nordic mermaid and is having trouble breathing on land.
Many of those things are the same in America. To us it should be common knowledge that someone doesn’t want to make physical contact with something that has been in your mouth. I realize alot of the immigrants that come to Norway are probably the kind that chew up a herb and spit it in the soup pot though lol and can certainly understand being repulsed by it.
1. Always say how amazing Norway is – Norwegians need to hear how wonderful their country is more than most. I think it is the ‘little guy’ syndrome.
I’m a Norwegian. I do not agree. I think it’s more of a “we like to hear the truth” kinda thing, vet du.
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from L-Jay:
;P …lol.
I like how you generalize the whole population of norway under a 10 point list. I dont know who you socialize with but in general i dont agree respectfully. Im norwegian and i have lots of friends there and we are the same as any other people whether we be norwegian, australian, or russian. We are all just people… Norway is an old country with families living there for generations. Generally, tradition takes a part in this. My wife is Russian and I find a lot of similarities between our two different cultures.
and to be honest, immigrants are disliked everywhere. just ask an american about the problem of illegal immigrants from mexico.
Interesting blog though, you have captivated me read all day lol. My rule for dealing with people no matter where I am is: smile, be friendly, initiate, be open. I have lived in norway for 9 years, and I will tell you, we love to talk. My grandfather would strike up a chat with a complete stranger and talk for hours about absolutely nothing.
But this should help though, dont generalize and stereotype a population of a country. I can also stereotype australians but i dont.
cheers
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from L-Jay:
Generalizing and stereo typing is how we learn about the world – an example – take ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’ when we teach kids about stranger-danger. (You are actually generalizing yourself by saying ‘Americans’, ‘Australians’ and ‘immigrants’ in your own comments…lol.) If we single out just one person it is called ‘discrimination’. I would rather generalize than discriminate. And people certainly aren’t the same all over the world – that is what makes the world so great. Norwegians love to talk if they know you. Did your grandfather only speak Norwegian? The thing is most Norwegians don’t strike up conversations with immigrants because they don’t know enough English – and vice versa. I think you should check the date of the post and then read the other fifty posts after that, and comments by readers, about socializing in Norway.
Haha, I’m Norwegian and that list is really funny and I find a lot of the points to be very accurate. Especially 1,2 (yeah!),8 (lol!) and 10. Even thought number 3 strikes me a s a bit odd, I find it to be true if linking it to number 1. Immigrants complaining often about Norway and never seeming to talk about their own countries’ problems (which in comparison often are way, way, way worse)…well, I find it annoying and rude (but that’s only cos I am Norwegian myself and dislike endless complaints about us
). I actually do not have any impression that immigrants complain a “lot”, these ideas come from having some immigrant friends and neighbours who do precisely that. “Argh, Norwegians never talk to me….oh, but I gotta go home now cos I can’t be out after 19.00 alone cos I am a girl” (true story). That leaves me a bit like…. “uhm…mmkay” 
Especially since I am their friend and I am Norwegian, which seems to escape them completely (cos I am not white) 
Their general idea seems to be “if you are Norwegian and not white…you may be as social and nice as you want, we will never count that into general Norwegian behaviour. If you were white, you wouldn’t be nice. So Norwegians still suck.” 
Although I think they just take the good stuff for granted and just share what they don’t like – I find that pretty normal. have heard Russians living in the Czech Republic saying it’s their favourite past time activity, sitting in a café, observing the “strange Czech people and their weird costums”. And these were really nice Russian people that I knew. think they meant it in a “nice” way, not seriously bashing the Czechs (most of the time – but some bashing is allowed, in my opinion
). I have lived abroad myself many a times…and the same things you express here can be transfered to other countries, just altered.
I disagree with 6,7 and 9, however. I guess I agree with Andrew on most points. Yeah, asking a stranger to help you mowing the lawn is probably not a good idea (unless you are old), but if you are friends it’s not uncommon to ask for favours and I have never heard anyone asking for money. That would just be rude, although it’s a nice gesture to offer dinner or something afterwards if it’s a big favour. Offering something is key, but declining is part of the game. I’d never accept money or anything else for a favour.
Bringing something to a dinner party is also common and back in the day I guess it would be kinda rude not to bring anything. In nicer companies it still is. But it is true that if the point is the dinner, you don’t want people to also bring food…I mean, you cooked right? Living with people from other cultures where this is common, I can see the misunderstanding. Unless it’s a picnic, birthday or casual party, drop the food,but as you say, feel free to bring alcohol…or even chocolate (who doesn’t welcome chocolate!).
Again, this probably varies on the whole “friends or not friends with a Norwegian” and “Being/acting like a Norwegian, not doing it”. I can totally see the difficulties if you are not Norwegian or do things that come off strange here. It can be hard, I know this from other foreign friends.
Okay, enough ranting and random blablabla….Hope your experience is getting better and better (I better read those other 50 posts as well)
in spaine it is common to bring food to the hostess but in norway it is common to bring flowers or some nice small things like candles and napkin or wine or fancy chocolate